Abu Bakr (Allah be pleased with him) came and sought permission to see Messenger of Allah ﷺ. He found people sitting at his door and none amongst them had been granted permission, but it was granted to Abu Bakr and he went in. Then came 'Umar and he sought permission and it was granted to him, and he found Allah's Apostle ﷺ sitting sad and silent with his wives around him. He (Hadrat 'Umar) said: I would say something which would make the Prophet ﷺ laugh, so he said: Messenger of Allah, I wish you had seen (the treatment meted out to) the daughter ofKhadija when you asked me some money, and I got up and slapped her on her neck. Messenger of Allah (mav peace be upon him) laughed and said: They are around me as you see, asking for extra money. Abu Bakr (Allah be pleased with him) then got up went to 'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) and slapped her on the neck, and 'Umar stood up before Hafsa and slapped her saying: You ask Messenger of Allah ﷺ which he does not possess. They said: By Allah, we do not ask Messenger of Allah ﷺ for anything he does not possess. Then he withdrew from them for a month or for twenty-nine days. Then this verse was revealed to him:" Prophet: Say to thy wives... for a mighty reward" (xxxiii. 28). He then went first to 'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) and said: I want to propound something to you, 'A'isha, but wish no hasty reply before you consult your parents. She said: Messenger of Allah, what is that? He (the Holy Prophet) recited to her the verse, whereupon she said: Is it about you that I should consult my parents, Messenger of Allah? Nay, I choose Allah, His Messenger, and the Last Abode; but I ask you not to tell any of your wives what I have said He replied: Not one of them will ask me without my informing her. God did not send me to be harsh, or cause harm, but He has sent me to teach and make things easy. (Using translation from Muslim 1478)   

أَقْبَلَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ يَسْتَأْذِنُ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ﷺ وَالنَّاسُ بِبَابِهِ جُلُوسٌ فَلَمْ يُؤْذَنْ لَهُ ثُمَّ أَقْبَلَ عُمَرُ فَاسْتَأْذَنَ فَلَمْ يُؤْذَنْ لَهُ فَجَلَسَ ثُمَّ أَذِنَ لِأَبِي بَكْرٍ وَعُمَرَ فَدَخَلَا وَالنَّبِيُّ ﷺ جَالِسٌ وَحَوْلَهُ نِسَاؤُهُ وَهُوَ سَاكِتٌ وَاجِمٌ قَالَ عُمَرُ «لَأُكَلِّمَنَّ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ لَعَلَّهُ أَنْ يَضْحَكَ» قَالَ عُمَرُ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ لَوْ رَأَيْتَ ابْنَةَ زَيْدٍ امْرَأَةَ عُمَرَ سَأَلَتْنِي النَّفَقَةَ آنِفًا فَوَجَأْتُ عُنُقَهَا فَضَحِكَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ حَتَّى بَدَتْ نَوَاجِذُهُ قَالَ «هُنَّ حَوْلِي كَمَا تَرَى يَسْأَلْنَنِي النَّفَقَةَ» فَقَامَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ إِلَى عَائِشَةَ لِيَضْرِبَهَا وَقَامَ عُمَرُ إِلَى حَفْصَةَ كِلَاهُمَا يَقُولُ تَسْأَلَانِ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ مَا لَيْسَ عِنْدَهُ فَنَهَاهُمَا رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ فَقُلْنَ نِسَاؤُهُ وَاللهِ لَا نَسْأَلُ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ بَعْدَ هَذَا الْمَجْلِسِ مَا لَيْسَ عِنْدَهُ فَأَنْزَلَ اللهُ تَعَالَى الْخِيَارُ فَبَدَأَ بِعَائِشَةَ فَقَالَ «إِنِّي أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَذْكُرَ لَكِ شَيْئًا لَا أُحِبُّ أَنْ تَعْجَلِي فِيهِ حَتَّى تَسْتَأْمِرِي أَبَوَيْكِ» قَالَتْ وَمَا هُوَ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ فَتَلَا عَلَيْهَا {يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُلْ لِأَزْوَاجِكَ إِنْ كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا وَزِينَتِهَا فَتَعَالَيْنَ أُمَتِّعْكُنَّ} [الأحزاب 28] قَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ «أَفِيكَ أَسْتَأْمِرُ أَبَوَيَّ؟ بَلْ أَخْتَارُ اللهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَالدَّارَ الْآخِرَةَ وَأَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ لَا تَذْكُرَ لِامْرَأَةٍ مِنْ نِسَائِكَ مَا اخْتَرْتُ» فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ «إِنَّ اللهَ لَمْ يَبْعَثْنِي مُعَنِّفًا وَلَكِنْ مُعَلِّمًا مُبَشِّرًا لَا تَسْأَلُنِي امْرَأَةٌ مِنْهُنَّ عَمَّا اخْتَرْتِ إِلَّا أَخْبَرْتُهَا»  

[Machine] The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, "The best of charity is what is given while one is affluent, and the upper hand is better than the lower hand, and start with those who are dependent on you." The woman says, "Either you spend on me or divorce me," and the son says, "Whom should I rely on?", and the slave says, "Spend on me and make use of me." It was said, "O Abu Huraira, this is from the Prophet ﷺ." He said, "No, this is from my pocket."  

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ «خَيْرُ الصَّدَقَةِ مَا كَانَ عَنْ ظَهْرِ غِنًى وَالْيَدُ الْعُلْيَا خَيْرٌ مِنَ الْيَدِ السُّفْلَى وَابْدَأْ بِمَنْ تَعُولُ» تَقُولُ الْمَرْأَةُ إِمَّا أَنْ تُنْفِقَ عَلَيَّ أَوْ تُطَلِّقَنِي وَيَقُولُ الِابْنُ إِلَى مَنْ تَكِلُنِي وَيَقُولُ الْعَبْدُ أَنْفِقْ عَلَيَّ وَاسْتَعْمِلْنِي قِيلَ يَا أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ هَذَا عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ قَالَ «لَا هَذَا مِنْ كِيسِي»  

[Machine] Narrated by Prophet Mohammed (PBUH): "The upper hand is better than the lower hand and start with those who depend on you." Zaid asked Abu Hurairah, "Who are those who depend on you, O Abu Hurairah?" Abu Hurairah replied, "Your wife says, 'Spend on me or divorce me,' and your servant says, 'Feed me and employ me,' and your son says, 'To whom will you leave me?'"  

عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ قَالَ «الْيَدُ الْعُلْيَا خَيْرٌ مِنَ الْيَدِ السُّفْلَى وَابْدَأْ بِمَنْ تَعُولُ» قَالَ زَيْدٌ فَسُئِلَ أَبُو هُرَيْرَةَ مَنْ تَعُولُ يَا أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ؟ قَالَ امْرَأَتُكَ تَقُولُ أَنْفِقْ عَلَيَّ أَوْ طَلِّقْنِي وَعَبْدُكَ يَقُولُ «أَطْعِمْنِي وَاسْتَعْمِلْنِي» وَابْنُكَ يَقُولُ «إِلَى مَنْ تَذَرُنِي»  

[Machine] Narrated by the Prophet ﷺ, he said, "The best charity is that given when one is still prosperous, and the upper hand is better than the lower hand. Begin with those who are under your responsibility." It was asked, "Who are those under my responsibility, O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "Your wife is among those under your responsibility." She says, "Feed me, otherwise divorce me." Your servant says, "Feed me and employ me." Your child says, "Who will take care of me?"  

عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ قَالَ «خَيْرُ الصَّدَقَةِ مَا كَانَ مِنْهَا عَنْ ظَهْرِ غِنًى وَالْيَدُ الْعُلْيَا خَيْرٌ مِنَ الْيَدِ السُّفْلَى وَابْدَأْ بِمَنْ تَعُولُ» فَقِيلَ مَنْ أَعُولُ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ؟ قَالَ «امْرَأَتُكَ مِمَّنْ تَعُولُ» تَقُولُ أَطْعِمْنِي وَإِلَّا فَارِقْنِي خَادِمُكَ يَقُولُ أَطْعِمْنِي وَاسْتَعْمِلْنِي وَوَلَدُكَ يَقُولُ إِلَى مَنْ تَتْرُكُنِي؟