43. Good Conduct and Manners
٤٣۔ كتاب الأدب
A son does not repay what he owes to his father unless he buys him and emancipates him if he finds him in slavery.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ لاَ يَجْزِي وَلَدٌ وَالِدَهُ إِلاَّ أَنْ يَجِدَهُ مَمْلُوكًا فَيَشْتَرِيَهُ فَيُعْتِقَهُ
A woman was my wife and I loved her, but Umar hated her. He said to me: Divorce her, but I refused. Umar then went to the Prophet ﷺ and mentioned that to him. The Prophet ﷺ said: Divorce her.
كَانَتْ تَحْتِي امْرَأَةٌ وَكُنْتُ أُحِبُّهَا وَكَانَ عُمَرُ يَكْرَهُهَا فَقَالَ لِي طَلِّقْهَا فَأَبَيْتُ فَأَتَى عُمَرُ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ فَذَكَرَ ذَلِكَ لَهُ فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ طَلِّقْهَا
I said: Messenger of Allah! to whom should I show kindness? He replied: Your mother, next your mother, next your mother, and then comes your father, and then your relatives in order of relationship. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: If a man asks his slave whom he freed for giving him property which is surplus with him and he refuses to give it to him, the surplus property which he refused to give will be called on the Day of resurrection as a large bald snake. Abu Dawud said: Aqra' means a snake whose hair of the head were removed on account of poison.
قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَنْ أَبَرُّ قَالَ أُمَّكَ ثُمَّ أُمَّكَ ثُمَّ أُمَّكَ ثُمَّ أَبَاكَ ثُمَّ الأَقْرَبَ فَالأَقْرَبَ وَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ لاَ يَسْأَلُ رَجُلٌ مَوْلاَهُ مِنْ فَضْلٍ هُوَ عِنْدَهُ فَيَمْنَعُهُ إِيَّاهُ إِلاَّ دُعِيَ لَهُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ فَضْلُهُ الَّذِي مَنَعَهُ شُجَاعًا أَقْرَعَ
Messenger of Allah! to whom should I show kindness? He said: Your mother, your sister, your brother and the slave whom you set free and who is your relative, a due binding (on you), and a tie of relationship which should be joined.
أَنَّهُ أَتَى النَّبِيَّ ﷺ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَنْ أَبَرُّ قَالَ أُمَّكَ وَأَبَاكَ وَأُخْتَكَ وَأَخَاكَ وَمَوْلاَكَ الَّذِي يَلِي ذَاكَ حَقٌّ وَاجِبٌ وَرَحِمٌ مَوْصُولَةٌ
A man’s reviling of his parents is one of the grave sins. He was asked : Messenger of Allah! How does a man revile his parents? He replied: He reviles the father of a man who then reviles his father, and he reviles a man’s mother and he reviles his.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ إِنَّ مِنْ أَكْبَرِ الْكَبَائِرِ أَنْ يَلْعَنَ الرَّجُلُ وَالِدَيْهِ قِيلَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ كَيْفَ يَلْعَنُ الرَّجُلُ وَالِدَيْهِ قَالَ يَلْعَنُ أَبَا الرَّجُلِ فَيَلْعَنُ أَبَاهُ وَيَلْعَنُ أُمَّهُ فَيَلْعَنُ أُمَّهُ
While we were with the Messenger of Allah! ﷺ a man of Banu Salmah came to Him and said: Messenger of Allah is there any kindness left that I can do to my parents after their death? He replied: Yes, you can invoke blessings on them, forgiveness for them, carry out their final instructions after their death, join ties of relationship which are dependent on them, and honour their friends.
بَيْنَا نَحْنُ عِنْدَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ إِذَا جَاءَهُ رَجُلٌ مِنْ بَنِي سَلِمَةَ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ هَلْ بَقِيَ مِنْ بِرِّ أَبَوَىَّ شَىْءٌ أَبَرُّهُمَا بِهِ بَعْدَ مَوْتِهِمَا قَالَ نَعَمِ الصَّلاَةُ عَلَيْهِمَا وَالاِسْتِغْفَارُ لَهُمَا وَإِنْفَاذُ عَهْدِهِمَا مِنْ بَعْدِهِمَا وَصِلَةُ الرَّحِمِ الَّتِي لاَ تُوصَلُ إِلاَّ بِهِمَا وَإِكْرَامُ صَدِيقِهِمَا
One of the finest acts of kindness is for a man to treat his father’s friends in a kindly way after he has departed.
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ إِنَّ أَبَرَّ الْبِرِّ صِلَةُ الْمَرْءِ أَهْلَ وُدِّ أَبِيهِ بَعْدَ أَنْ يُوَلِّيَ
I saw the Prophet ﷺ distributing flesh at Ji'irranah, and I was a boy in those days bearing the bone of the camel, and when a woman who came forward approach the Prophet ﷺ, he spread out his cloak for her, and she sat on it. I asked: Who is she? The people said: She is his foster-mother.
أَخْبَرَهُ قَالَ رَأَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ يَقْسِمُ لَحْمًا بِالْجِعِرَّانَةِ قَالَ أَبُو الطُّفَيْلِ وَأَنَا يَوْمَئِذٍ غُلاَمٌ أَحْمِلُ عَظْمَ الْجَزُورِ إِذْ أَقْبَلَتِ امْرَأَةٌ حَتَّى دَنَتْ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ ﷺ فَبَسَطَ لَهَا رِدَاءَهُ فَجَلَسَتْ عَلَيْهِ فَقُلْتُ مَنْ هِيَ فَقَالُوا هَذِهِ أُمُّهُ الَّتِي أَرْضَعَتْهُ
One day when the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was sitting, his foster-father came forward. He spread out of a part of his garment and he sit on it. Then his mother came forward to him and he spread out the other side of his garment and she sat on it. Again , his foster-brother came forward. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ stood for him and seated him before himself.
أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ كَانَ جَالِسًا يَوْمًا فَأَقْبَلَ أَبُوهُ مِنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ فَوَضَعَ لَهُ بَعْضَ ثَوْبِهِ فَقَعَدَ عَلَيْهِ ثُمَّ أَقْبَلَتْ أُمُّهُ فَوَضَعَ لَهَا شِقَّ ثَوْبِهِ مِنْ جَانِبِهِ الآخَرِ فَجَلَسَتْ عَلَيْهِ ثُمَّ أَقْبَلَ أَخُوهُ مِنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ فَقَامَ لَهُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ فَأَجْلَسَهُ بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ