I heard ‘Umar say: Do not make womenʿs dowries expensive, do not make womenʿs dowries expensive, for had this been a sign of honour in this world or piety before Allah, the first one of you to do it would have been the Prophet ﷺ. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, any more than twelve Oasiyyahs [as a dowry. And a man will go to great trouble in order to offer a high dowry to his wife. On one occasion he said: A man would pay his wife a high dowry until he feels resentment towards her and says: You cost me everything I own, even the string to tie a waterskin and hang it up. He [the narrator] said: I was a young Arab boy with a non-Arab mother, and I did not know what a ʿstringʿ was. ʿUmar said: And another thing you say of one who is killed in your campaigns and dies that so and so was killed as a martyr, and o and so died as a martyr. But perhaps he loaded the back of his mount with gold and silver for the purpose of trading. So do not say that, rather say what the Prophet ﷺ (or what Muhammad) ﷺ said: “Whoever is killed or dies for the sake of Allah will be in Paradise.ʿ
قَالَسَمِعْتُ عُمَرَ يَقُولُ أَلا لَا تُغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ أَلا لَا تُغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ قَالَ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ اللهِ كَانَ أَوْلاكُمْ بِهَا النَّبِيُّ ﷺ مَا أَصْدَقَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلا أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ثِنْتَيْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُبْتَلَى