"Umar bin Al-Khattab said: 'Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honor and dignity in this world, or a sign of piety before Allah, the Mighty and Sublime, then Muhammad would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve Uqiyyah. A man may increase the dowry until he feels resentment against her and says: You cost me everything I own ('Alaqul-Qirbah)'" "And I was a man born among the 'Arabs, but I did not know the meaning of 'Alaqul-Qirbah' and others of you are saying -about those killed in this or that battle of yours, or who died: 'So-and-so was martyred' or 'so and so died as a martyr.' While perhaps he merely overloaded the backside of his beast, or lined his saddle with gold or silver seeking trade. So do not say that, rather say as the Prophet said: 'Whoever is killed in the cause of Allah, or dies, then he is in Paradise.'"  

عُمَرُ بْنُ الْخَطَّابِ أَلاَ لاَ تَغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهُ لَوْ كَانَ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ اللَّهِ ﷻ كَانَ أَوْلاَكُمْ بِهِ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ مَا أَصْدَقَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلاَ أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ثِنْتَىْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُغْلِي بِصَدُقَةِ امْرَأَتِهِ حَتَّى يَكُونَ لَهَا عَدَاوَةٌ فِي نَفْسِهِ وَحَتَّى يَقُولَ كُلِّفْتُ لَكُمْ عَلَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ وَكُنْتُ غُلاَمًا عَرَبِيًّا مُوَلَّدًا فَلَمْ أَدْرِ مَا عَلَقُ الْقِرْبَةِ قَالَ وَأُخْرَى يَقُولُونَهَا لِمَنْ قُتِلَ فِي مَغَازِيكُمْ أَوْ مَاتَ قُتِلَ فُلاَنٌ شَهِيدًا أَوْ مَاتَ فُلاَنٌ شَهِيدًا وَلَعَلَّهُ أَنْ يَكُونَ قَدْ أَوْقَرَ عَجُزَ دَابَّتِهِ أَوْ دَفَّ رَاحِلَتِهِ ذَهَبًا أَوْ وَرِقًا يَطْلُبُ التِّجَارَةَ فَلاَ تَقُولُوا ذَاكُمْ وَلَكِنْ قُولُوا كَمَا قَالَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ مَنْ قُتِلَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ أَوْ مَاتَ فَهُوَ فِي الْجَنَّةِ  

Umar (Allah be pleased with him) delivered a speech to us and said: Do not go to extremes in giving women their dower, for if it represented honour in this world and piety in Allah's sight, the one of you most entitled to do so would have been the Prophet ﷺ. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ did not marry any of his wives or gave any of his daughters in marriage for more than twelve uqiyahs.  

أَلاَ لاَ تُغَالُوا بِصُدُقِ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ اللَّهِ لَكَانَ أَوْلاَكُمْ بِهَا النَّبِيُّ ﷺ مَا أَصْدَقَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلاَ أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ثِنْتَىْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً  

I heard ‘Umar say: Do not make womenʿs dowries expensive, do not make womenʿs dowries expensive, for had this been a sign of honour in this world or piety before Allah, the first one of you to do it would have been the Prophet ﷺ. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, any more than twelve Oasiyyahs [as a dowry. And a man will go to great trouble in order to offer a high dowry to his wife. On one occasion he said: A man would pay his wife a high dowry until he feels resentment towards her and says: You cost me everything I own, even the string to tie a waterskin and hang it up. He [the narrator] said: I was a young Arab boy with a non-Arab mother, and I did not know what a ʿstringʿ was. ʿUmar said: And another thing you say of one who is killed in your campaigns and dies that so and so was killed as a martyr, and o and so died as a martyr. But perhaps he loaded the back of his mount with gold and silver for the purpose of trading. So do not say that, rather say what the Prophet ﷺ (or what Muhammad) ﷺ said: “Whoever is killed or dies for the sake of Allah will be in Paradise.ʿ  

قَالَسَمِعْتُ عُمَرَ يَقُولُ أَلا لَا تُغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ أَلا لَا تُغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ قَالَ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ اللهِ كَانَ أَوْلاكُمْ بِهَا النَّبِيُّ ﷺ مَا أَصْدَقَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلا أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ثِنْتَيْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُبْتَلَى  

[Machine] Do not exaggerate in the dowry of women, for if it were honorable in this world or a means of righteousness before Allah, the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, would have been the most truthful in his attachment to his wives. No man has ever believed in a woman more than her own husband, and no woman has ever believed in a man more than her own father, even if she were given in marriage for twelve ounces of gold. And behold, one of you may exaggerate in the dowry of his wife until there remains animosity towards her in his heart, and he might even say, "I spent my dowry on you, whether it was the high status or the low status."  

أَلَا لَا تُغَالُوا فِي صُدُقِ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ اللَّهِ كَانَ أَوْلَاكُمْ بِهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ مَا أَصْدَقَ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلَا أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ فَوْقَ اثْنَتَيْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً أَلَا وَإِنَّ أَحَدَكُمْ لَيُغَالِي بِصَدَاقِ امْرَأَتِهِ حَتَّى يَبْقَى لَهَا فِي نَفْسِهِ عَدَاوَةٌ حَتَّى يَقُولَ «كَلِفْتُ لْكِ عَلَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ أَوْ عَرَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ»  

[Machine] Beware of undervaluing the friendship of women. Even if they are honored in this world or righteous in the eyes of Allah, Muhammad ﷺ would be most worthy and deserving of that honor. He said: "No woman can be more truthful in fulfilling her obligations than twelve women combined." And indeed, one of you may become resentful towards his wife due to excessive dowry and say, "I have been burdened with the closeness of relationship."  

أَلَا لَا تُغَالُوا صَدَاقَ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ اللَّهِ كَانَ أَوْلَاكُمْ بِهَا وَأَحَقَّكُمْ بِهَا مُحَمَّدٌ ﷺ «مَا أَصْدَقَ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنِ اثْنَتَيْ عَشَرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً» وَإِنَّ أَحَدَكُمْ لَيُغْلِي بِصَدَاقِ امْرَأَتِهِ حَتَّى يَكُونَ لَهَا عَدَاوَةٌ فِي نَفْسِهِ وَيَقُولُ قَدْ كُلِّفْتُ إِلَيْكِ عَرَقُ الْقِرْبَةِ  

Abu Ajfa As-Sulami said: “Umar bin Khattab said: 'Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honor and dignity in this world or a sign of Taqwa before Allah, then Muhammad ﷺ would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives and none of his daughters were given more than twelve uqiyyah. A man may increase dowry until he feels resentment against her and says: “You cost me everything I own,” or, “You caused me a great deal of hardship.”'” (Hassan) (Using translation from Ibn Mājah 1887)   

قَالَ عُمَرُ بْنُ الْخَطَّابِ أَلَا لَا تَغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهُ لَوْ كَانَ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ اللهِ ﷻ كَانَ أَوْلَاكُمْ بِهِ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ مَا أَصَدَقَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلَا أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ثِنْتَيْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُغْلِي بِصَدَقَةِ امْرَأَتِهِ حَتَّى يَكُونَ لَهَا عَدَاوَةٌ فِي نَفْسِهِ وَحَتَّى يَقُولَ كُلِّفْتُ لَكُمْ عِلْقَ الْقِرْبَةِ وَكُنْتُ غُلَامًا عَرَبِيًّا مُوَلَّدًا فَلَمْ أَدْرِ مَا عِلْقُ الْقِرْبَةِ؟  

(عَنْ أبِى الْعَجْفَاءِ قَالَ: خَطَبَ عُمَرُ فَقَالَ) (*): "ألاَ لَا تُغْلُوا صُدُقَ النِّسَاءِ؛ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِى الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوَى عِنْدَ الله كَانَ أَوْلَاكُمْ بِهَا النَّبِيُّ ﷺ مَا أَصْدَقَ رَسُولُ الله ﷺ امْرأةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ، وَلاَ أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنَ اثْنَتَىْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً".

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