Caution: Translations of Quran and Ḥadīth may lead to possible misapplications and misinterpretations. This site is intended for students of sacred knowledge that are proficient in comprehending classical Arabic and have a strong foundation in Islamic sciences. Also note that religious injunctions rely on several aspects beyond what one may glean through reading individual aḥādīth.
nasai-kubra:9115Muḥammad b. Bashhār > Yaḥyá > Bahz from my father from my father

[Machine] I asked, "O Messenger of Allah, should we approach our women or should we stay away from them?" He replied, "Approach them however you want, as long as you do not make them ugly, do not beat them, feed them when you eat, provide them with clothing when you cloth yourself, and do not abandon them except in their homes. How can one of you go to another except in a way that is permissible for him?"  

الكبرى للنسائي:٩١١٥أَخْبَرَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ بَشَّارٍ قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى عَنْ بَهْزٍ قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي أَبِي عَنْ جَدِّي قَالَ

قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ نِسَاؤُنَا مَا نَأْتِي مِنْهَا أَمْ مَا نَدَعُ؟ قَالَ «حَرْثُكَ أَنَّى شِئْتَ غَيْرَ أَنْ لَا تُقَبِّحَ الْوَجْهَ وَلَا تَضْرِبَ وَأَطْعِمْهَا إِذَا طَعِمْتَ وَاكْسُهَا إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ وَلَا تَهْجُرْهَا إِلَّا فِي بَيْتِهَا كَيْفَ وَقَدْ أَفْضَى بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَى بَعْضٍ إِلَّا بِمَا حَلَّ عَلَيْهَا»  


See similar narrations below:

Collected by Abū Dāwūd, Aḥmad, Ṭabarānī, Bayhaqī, Suyūṭī
abudawud:2143Ibn Bashhār > Yaḥyá b. Saʿīd > Bahz b. Ḥakīm from my father from my father

I said: Messenger of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied: Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her. Abu Dawud said: The version of Shu'bah has: That you give her food when you have food yourself, and that you clothe her when you clothe yourself.  

أبو داود:٢١٤٣حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ بَشَّارٍ حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ سَعِيدٍ حَدَّثَنَا بَهْزُ بْنُ حَكِيمٍ حَدَّثَنِي أَبِي عَنْ جَدِّي قَالَ

قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ نِسَاؤُنَا مَا نَأْتِي مِنْهُنَّ وَمَا نَذَرُ قَالَ ائْتِ حَرْثَكَ أَنَّى شِئْتَ وَأَطْعِمْهَا إِذَا طَعِمْتَ وَاكْسُهَا إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ وَلاَ تُقَبِّحِ الْوَجْهَ وَلاَ تَضْرِبْ  

قَالَ أَبُو دَاوُدَ رَوَى شُعْبَةُ تُطْعِمُهَا إِذَا طَعِمْتَ وَتَكْسُوهَا إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ
ahmad:20030Yazīd > Bahz b. Ḥakīm from his father from his grandfather

[Machine] I said, "O Prophet of Allah, what should we give to our wives and what should we refrain from?" He replied, "Your fields, give from your fields whatever you wish, as long as you do not strike their faces, or make them ugly, or abandon them except in the house. Feed them when you feed yourself, and dress them when you dress yourself. How can it be that you have relations with one another and then dislike her?"  

أحمد:٢٠٠٣٠حَدَّثَنَا يَزِيدُ أَخْبَرَنَا بَهْزُ بْنُ حَكِيمٍ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنْ جَدِّهِ قَالَ

قُلْتُ يَا نَبِيَّ اللهِ نِسَاؤُنَا مَا نَأْتِي مِنْهَا وَمَا نَذَرُ؟ قَالَ حَرْثُكَ ائْتِ حَرْثَكَ أَنَّى شِئْتَ غَيْرَ أَنْ لَا تَضْرِبَ الْوَجْهَ وَلَا تُقَبِّحْ وَلَا تَهْجُرْ إِلَّا فِي الْبَيْتِ وَأَطْعِمْ إِذَا طَعِمْتَ وَاكْسُ إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ كَيْفَ وَقَدْ أَفْضَى بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَى بَعْضٍ إِلَّا بِمَا حَلَّ عَلَيْهَا  

ahmad:20045Yaḥyá b. Saʿīd > Bahz b. Ḥakīm b. Muʿāwiyah b. Ḥaydah al-Qushayrī from my father from my father

[Machine] I said, "O Messenger of Allah, should we have sexual relations with our wives or should we practice 'Azl (withdrawal method)?" He replied, "Do what you wish, but it is best that you do not strike their faces or make them ugly. Feed them when you feed yourself, clothe them when you clothe yourself, and do not abandon them except in the house. Do not harm your wives in any other way, for you have taken them as a trust from Allah."  

أحمد:٢٠٠٤٥حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ سَعِيدٍ عَنْ بَهْزِ بْنِ حَكِيمِ بْنِ مُعَاوِيَةَ بْنِ حَيْدَةَ الْقُشَيْرِيِّ حَدَّثَنِي أَبِي عَنْ جَدِّي قَالَ

قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ نِسَاؤُنَا مَا نَأْتِي مِنْهُنَّ أَمْ مَا نَذَرُ؟ قَالَ حَرْثُكَ ائْتِ حَرْثَكَ أَنَّى شِئْتَ فِي أَنْ لَا تَضْرِبَ الْوَجْهَ وَلَا تُقَبِّحْ وَأَطْعِمْ إِذَا أُطْعِمْتَ وَاكْسُ إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ وَلَا تَهْجُرْ إِلَّا فِي الْبَيْتِ كَيْفَ وَقَدْ أَفْضَى بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَى بَعْضٍ إِلَّا بِمَا حَلَّ عَلَيْهِنَّ  

tabarani:17110al-Miqdām b. Dāwud > Asad b. Mūsá > ʿAdī b. al-Faḍl > Bahz b. Ḥakīm from his father from his grandfather

[Machine] I asked, O Prophet of Allah, our wives, what do we bring from them and what do we leave behind? He said, "Your cultivation, approach your cultivation however you wish, only do not strike the face, do not belittle, and do not abandon except in the house. And feed when you feed, and clothe when you clothe, as you would like for oneself to come to one another."  

الطبراني:١٧١١٠حَدَّثَنَا الْمِقْدَامُ بْنُ دَاوُدَ ثنا أَسَدُ بْنُ مُوسَى ثنا عَدِيُّ بْنُ الْفَضْلِ عَنْ بَهْزِ بْنِ حَكِيمٍ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنْ جَدِّهِ قَالَ

قُلْتُ يَا نَبِيَّ اللهِ نِسَاؤُنَا مَا نَأْتِي مِنْهَا وَمَا نَذَرُ؟ قَالَ «حَرْثُكَ فَائْتِ حَرْثَكَ أَنَّى شِئْتَ غَيْرَ أَنْ لَا تَضْرِبَ الْوَجْهَ وَلَا تُقَبِّحَ وَلَا تَهْجُرَ إِلَّا فِي الْبَيْتِ وَأَطْعِمْ إِذَا طَعِمْتَ وَاكْسُ إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ كَيْفَ وَقَدْ أَفْضَى بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَى بَعْضٍ»  

tabarani:17111Yūsuf al-Qāḍī > ʿAbdullāh b. ʿAbd al-Wahhāb al-Ḥajabī > Ḥammād b. Zayd > Bahz b. Ḥakīm from his father from his grandfather

[Machine] I asked, O Messenger of Allah, what should we give from our women as a gift or vow? He said, "Give from yourself, give from yourself as you wish, except that you do not strike the face, do not make it ugly, and do not forsake her except in the house, and feed her when you feed yourself, and clothe her when you clothe yourself, how would you be intimate with one another otherwise?"  

الطبراني:١٧١١١حَدَّثَنَا يُوسُفُ الْقَاضِي ثنا عَبْدُ اللهِ بْنُ عَبْدِ الْوَهَّابِ الْحَجَبِيُّ ثنا حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ عَنْ بَهْزِ بْنِ حَكِيمٍ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنْ جَدِّهِ قَالَ

قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ نِسَاؤُنَا مَا نَأْتِي مِنْهَا وَمَا نَذَرُ؟ قَالَ «حَرْثُكَ ائْتِ حَرْثَكَ أَنَّى شِئْتَ غَيْرَ أَنْ لَا تَضْرِبَ الْوَجْهَ وَلَا تُقَبِّحَ وَلَا تَهْجُرَ إِلَّا فِي الْبَيْتِ وَأَطْعِمْ إِذَا طَعِمْتَ وَاكْسُ إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ كَيْفَ وَقَدْ أَفْضَى بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَى بَعْضٍ؟»  

bayhaqi:15693Abū ʿAbdullāh al-Ḥāfiẓ > Aḥmad b. Salmān b. al-Ḥasan al-Faqīh> Quriʾ > Muḥammad b. Maslamah al-Wāsiṭī > Yazīd b. Hārūn > Bahz b. Ḥakīm b. Muʿāwiyah al-Qushayrī from my father from his father

[Machine] I said: O Messenger of Allah, should we have an intimate relationship with our wives or should we practice abstinence? He replied: Approach your field as you please, but do not hit the face, do not revile, and do not abandon her except within the house. Feed her when you eat and clothe her when you dress. How can one of you fully satisfy his desires with his wife, while also refraining from using her, and another from among you does the same with his wife?  

البيهقي:١٥٦٩٣أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو عَبْدِ اللهِ الْحَافِظُ أنا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ سَلْمَانَ بْنِ الْحَسَنِ الْفَقِيهُ بِبَغْدَادَ قَالَ قُرِئَ عَلَى مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ مَسْلَمَةَ الْوَاسِطِيِّ وَأَنَا أَسْمَعُ نا يَزِيدُ بْنُ هَارُونَ أنا بَهْزُ بْنُ حَكِيمِ بْنِ مُعَاوِيَةَ الْقُشَيْرِيُّ حَدَّثَنِي أَبِي عَنْ أَبِيهِ قَالَ

قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ نِسَاؤُنَا مَا نَأْتِي مِنْهَا أَمْ مَا نَذَرُ قَالَ ائْتِ حَرْثَكَ أَنَّى شِئْتَ غَيْرَ أَنْ لَا تَضْرِبَ الْوَجْهَ وَلَا تُقَبِّحْ وَلَا تَهْجُرْ إِلَّا فِي الْبَيْتِ وَأَطْعِمْ إِذَا طَعِمْتَ وَاكْسُ إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ كَيْفَ وَقَدْ أَفْضَى بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَى بَعْضٍ  

suyuti:13451a
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السيوطي:١٣٤٥١a

"حَرْثَكَ، فَأْتِ حَرْثَكَ أَنَّى شِئْتَ، غَيْرَ أَنْ لَا تَضْرِب الْوَجْهَ، وَلَا تُقبِّحْ وَلَا تَهْجُرْ إِلَّا فِى البيْتِ، وأَطْعِمْ إِذَا طَعمْتَ، وَاكْسُ إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ كَيْف (وَقَدْ أَفْضَى بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَى بَعْضٍ وَأَخَذْنَ مِنكُم ميثَاقًا غَلِيظًا".  

[حم] أحمد [طب] الطبرانى في الكبير عن بهز بن حكيم عن أَبيه عن جده