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Qurʾān Bukhārī Muslim Nasāʾī Abū Dāwūd Tirmidhī Ibn Mājah Mālik Aḥmad Dārimī Ḥākim Ibn Ḥibbān Ṭabarānī Nasāʾī's Kubrá Bayhaqī al-Luʾluʾ wa-al-Marjān Ibn Rajab's Fifty Riyāḍ al-Ṣāliḥīn Aḥmad's Zuhd Suyūṭī

ذِكْرُ الْأَمْرِ بِإِرْضَاءِ الْمَرْءِ أَهْلَهُ عِنْدَ قُدُومِهِ مِنْ سَفَرِهِ

ibnhibban:2717 – al-Ḥusayn b. Muḥammad b. Abū Maʿshar > Muḥammad b. Bashhār

[Machine] I went with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ on a military expedition. He asked, "Have you gotten married?" I replied, "Yes." He asked, "Did you marry a virgin or a widow?" I said, "No, I married a widow." He asked, "Don't you desire to have a wife who can play with you and you can play with her?" I said, "I have sisters, so I preferred to marry a woman who can bring them together, comb their hair, and take care of them." He said, "Since you are coming, then be as wise as possible."  

ابن حبّان:٢٧١٧ – أَخْبَرَنَا الْحُسَيْنُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ أَبِي مَعْشَرٍ قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ بَشَّارٍ قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْوَهَّابِ الثَّقَفِيُّ قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا عُبَيْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ عُمَرَ عَنْ وَهْبِ بْنِ كَيْسَانَ عَنْ جَابِرٍ قَالَ

خَرَجْتُ مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ فِي غَزَاةٍ فَقَالَ «تَزَوَّجْتَ؟ » قُلْتُ نَعَمْ قَالَ «بِكْرًا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا؟ » قُلْتُ بَلْ ثَيِّبًا قَالَ «فَهَلَّا جَارِيَةً تُلَاعِبُهَا وَتُلَاعِبُكَ؟ » قُلْتُ إِنَّ لِي أَخَوَاتٍ فَأَحْبَبْتُ أَنْ أَتَزَوَّجَ امْرَأَةً تَجْمَعُهُنَّ وَتُمَشِّطُهُنَّ وَتَقُومُ عَلَيْهِنَّ قَالَ «أَمَا إِنَّكَ قَادِمٌ فَإِذَا قَدِمْتَ فَالْكَيْسَ الْكَيْسَ»  

See similar narrations below:

Collected by Bukhārī, Suyūṭī
bukhari:4052 – Qutaybah > Sufyān > ʿAmr > Jābir

"Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to me, "Have you got married O Jabir?" I replied, "Yes." He asked "What, a virgin or a matron?" I replied, "Not a virgin but a matron." He said, "Why did you not marry a young girl who would have fondled with you?" I replied, "O Messenger of Allah ﷺ! My father was martyred on the day of Uhud and left nine (orphan) daughters who are my nine sisters; so I disliked to have another young girl of their age, but (I sought) an (elderly) woman who could comb their hair and look after them." The Prophet ﷺ said, "You have done the right thing."  

البخاري:٤٠٥٢ – حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ أَخْبَرَنَا عَمْرٌو عَنْ جَابِرٍ قَالَ قَالَ

لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ هَلْ نَكَحْتَ يَا جَابِرُ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ قَالَ مَاذَا أَبِكْرًا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا قُلْتُ لاَ بَلْ ثَيِّبًا قَالَ فَهَلاَّ جَارِيَةً تُلاَعِبُكَ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ أَبِي قُتِلَ يَوْمَ أُحُدٍ وَتَرَكَ تِسْعَ بَنَاتٍ كُنَّ لِي تِسْعَ أَخَوَاتٍ فَكَرِهْتُ أَنْ أَجْمَعَ إِلَيْهِنَّ جَارِيَةً خَرْقَاءَ مِثْلَهُنَّ وَلَكِنِ امْرَأَةً تَمْشُطُهُنَّ وَتَقُومُ عَلَيْهِنَّ قَالَ أَصَبْتَ  

suyuti:165-326b – Jābir
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السيوطي:١٦٥-٣٢٦b –

"عَنْ جَابِر قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ : هَلْ نَكَحْتَ؟ قُلتُ: نَعَمْ، قَالَ: بِكْرًا أَمْ ثَيّبًا؟ قُلتُ: بَلْ ثِّيبًا، قَالَ فَهَلاَّ بكْرًا تُلاَعِبُكَ، قُلتُ: إنَّ أَبِى قُتِلَ يَوْمَ أُحُدٍ وَتَركَ تِسع بَنَاتٍ، وَلِى تِسع أخَوَاتٍ، فَلَمْ أُحِبَّ أَنْ أجْمَعَ إِلَيْهِنَّ خَرقاءَ مِثْلَهُنَّ، وَقُلتُ: امْرَأَةً تَقُومُ عَلَيْهِنَّ، وَتُمَشِّطُهُنَّ. قَالَ: أَصَبْتَ".  

[ص] سعيد بن منصور