38. The Book of Manners and Etiquette
٣٨۔ كتاب الآداب
A man at Al-Baqi' called, "O Abul-Qasim!" The Prophet ﷺ turned to him and the man said (to the Prophet ), "I did not intend to call you." The prophet said, "Name yourselves by my name but not by my Kunya (name).
عَنْ أَنَسٍ ؓ دَعَا رَجُلٌ بِالْبَقِيعِ يَا أَبَا الْقَاسِمِ فَالْتَفَتَ إِلَيْهِ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ فَقَالَ لَمْ أَعْنِكَ قَالَ سَمُّوا بِاسْمِي وَلاَ تَكْتَنُوا بِكُنْيَتِي
A man amongst us begot a boy whom he named Al-Qasim. On that the Ansar said, (to the man), "We will never call you Abu-al-Qasim and will never please you with this blessed title." So, he went to the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of Allah ﷺ! I have begotten a boy whom I named Al-Qasim and the Ansar said, 'We will never call you Abu-al-Qasim, nor will we please you with this title.' " The Prophet ﷺ said, "The Ansar have done well. Name by my name, but do not name by my Kunya, for I am Qasim."
وُلِدَ لِرَجُلٍ مِنَّا غُلاَمٌ فَسَمَّاهُ الْقَاسِمَ فَقَالَتِ الأَنْصَارُ لاَ نَكْنِيكَ أَبَا الْقَاسِمِ وَلاَ نُنْعِمُكَ عَيْنًا فَأَتَى النَّبِيَّ ﷺ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وُلِدَ لِي غُلاَمٌ فَسَمَّيْتُهُ الْقَاسِمَ فَقَالَتِ الأَنْصَارُ لاَ نَكْنِيكَ أَبَا الْقَاسِمِ وَلاَ نُنْعِمُكَ عَيْنًا فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ أَحْسَنَتِ الأَنْصَارُ سَمُّوا بِاسْمِي وَلاَ تَكَنَّوْا بِكُنْيَتِي فَإِنَّمَا أَنَا قَاسِمٌ
A boy was born for a man among us, and the man named him Al-Qasim. We said to him, "We will not call you Abu-l-Qasim, nor will we respect you for that." The Prophet ﷺ was informed about that, and he said, "Name your son ʿAbdur-Rahman."
وُلِدَ لِرَجُلٍ مِنَّا غُلاَمٌ فَسَمَّاهُ الْقَاسِمَ فَقُلْنَا لاَ نَكْنِيكَ أَبَا الْقَاسِمِ وَلاَ كَرَامَةَ فَأَخْبَرَ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ فَقَالَ سَمِّ ابْنَكَ عَبْدَ الرَّحْمَنِ
Abu-l-Qasim said, "Name yourselves after me, but do not call yourselves by my Kuniya."
أَبُو الْقَاسِمِ ﷺ سَمُّوا بِاسْمِي وَلاَ تَكْتَنُوا بِكُنْيَتِي
38.3 It Is Recommended To Change Bad Names To Good Names, And To Change The Name Barrah To Zainab, Juwayriyah And The Like
٣٨۔٣ بَاب اسْتِحْبَابِ تَغْيِيرِ الِاسْمِ الْقَبِيحِ إِلَى حَسَنٍ وَتَغْيِيرِ اسْمِ بَرَّةَ إِلَى زَيْنَبَ وَجُوَيْرِيَةَ وَنَحْوِهِمَا
Zainab's original name was "Barrah," but it was said' "By that she is giving herself the prestige of piety." So the Prophet ﷺ changed her name to Zainab.
أَنَّ زَيْنَبَ كَانَ اسْمُهَا بَرَّةَ فَقِيلَ تُزَكِّي نَفْسَهَا فَسَمَّاهَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ زَيْنَبَ
38.4 The Prohibition Of The Names Malik Al-Amlak Or Malik Al-Muluk "King Of Kings"
٣٨۔٤ باب تَحْرِيمِ التَّسَمِّي بِمَلِكِ الأَمْلاَكِ وَبِمَلِكِ الْمُلُوكِ
The Prophet ﷺ said, "The most awful (meanest) name in Allah's sight." Sufyan said more than once, "The most awful (meanest) name in Allah's sight is (that of) a man calling himself king of kings." Sufyan said, "Somebody else (i.e. other than Abu Az-Zinad, a sub-narrator) says: What is meant by 'The king of kings' is 'Shahan Shah.,"
أَخْنَعُ اسْمٍ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ وَقَالَ سُفْيَانُ غَيْرَ مَرَّةٍ أَخْنَعُ الأَسْمَاءِ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ رَجُلٌ تَسَمَّى بِمَلِكِ الأَمْلاَكِ قَالَ سُفْيَانُ يَقُولُ غَيْرُهُ تَفْسِيرُهُ شَاهَانْ شَاهْ
38.5 It Is Recommended To Perform Tahnik For The Newborn When He Is Born And To Take Him To A Righteous Man To Perform Tahnik For Him; It Is Permissible To Name Him On The Day He Is Born, And It Is Recommended To Use The Names 'Abdullah, Ibrahim, And The Names Of All Other Prophets, Peace Be Upon Them
٣٨۔٥ بَاب اسْتِحْبَابِ تَحْنِيكِ الْمَوْلُودِ عِنْدَ وِلَادَتِهِ وَحَمْلِهِ إِلَى صَالِحٍ يُحَنِّكُهُ وَجَوَازِ تَسْمِيَتِهِ يَوْمَ وِلَادَتِهِ وَاسْتِحْبَابِ التَّسْمِيَةِ بِعَبْدِ اللَّهِ وَإِبْرَاهِيمَ وَسَائِرِ أَسْمَاءِ الْأَنْبِيَاءِ عَلَيْهِمْ السَّلَام
Showing patience at the loss of a child
Abu Talha had a child who was sick. Once, while Abu Talha was out, the child died. When Abu Talha returned home, he asked, "How does my son fare?" Um Salaim (his wife) replied, "He is quieter than he has ever been." Then she brought supper for him and he took his supper and slept with her. When he had finished, she said (to him), "Bury the child (as he's dead)." Next morning Abu Talha came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and told him about that. The Prophet ﷺ said (to him), "Did you sleep with your wife last night?" Abu Talha said, "Yes". The Prophet ﷺ said, "O Allah! Bestow your blessing on them as regards that night of theirs."
Um Sulaim gave birth to a boy. Abu Talha told me to take care of the child till it was taken to the Prophet. Then Abu Talha took the child to the Prophet ﷺ and Um Sulaim sent some dates along with the child. The Prophet ﷺ took the child (on his lap) and asked if there was something with him. The people replied, "Yes, a few dates." The Prophet took a date, chewed it, took some of it out of his mouth, put it into the child's mouth and did Tahnik for him with that, and named him 'Abdullah.
كَانَ ابْنٌ لأَبِي طَلْحَةَ يَشْتَكِي، فَخَرَجَ أَبُو طَلْحَةَ فَقُبِضَ الصَّبِيُّ۔ فَلَمَّا رَجَعَ أَبُو طَلْحَةَ قَالَ: مَا فَعَلَ ابْنِي؟ قَالَتْ أُمُّ سُلَيْمٍ: هُوَ أَسْكَنُ مَا كَانَ۔ فَقَرَّبَتْ إِلَيْهِ الْعَشَاءَ فَتَعَشَّى ثُمَّ أَصَابَ مِنْهَا۔ فَلَمَّا فَرَغَ قَالَتْ: وَارِ الصَّبِيَّ۔ فَلَمَّا أَصْبَحَ أَبُو طَلْحَةَ أَتَى رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ فَأَخْبَرَهُ فَقَالَ: أَعْرَسْتُمُ اللَّيْلَةَ؟ قَالَ: نَعَمْ۔ قَالَ: «اللَّهُمَّ بَارِكْ لَهُمَا۔»
فَوَلَدَتْ غُلاَمًا۔ قَالَ لِي أَبُو طَلْحَةَ احْفَظْهُ حَتَّى تَأْتِيَ بِهِ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ۔ فَأَتَى بِهِ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ وَأَرْسَلَتْ مَعَهُ بِتَمَرَاتٍ، فَأَخَذَهُ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ فَقَالَ: «أَمَعَهُ شَىْءٌ؟» قَالُوا: نَعَمْ، تَمَرَاتٌ۔ فَأَخَذَهَا النَّبِيُّ ﷺ فَمَضَغَهَا ثُمَّ أَخَذَ مِنْ فِيهِ، فَجَعَلَهَا فِي فِي الصَّبِيِّ وَحَنَّكَهُ بِهِ وَسَمَّاهُ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ۔»
A son was born to me and I took him to the Prophet ﷺ who named him Ibrahim, did Tahnik for him with a date, invoked Allah to bless him and returned him to me. (The narrator added: That was Abu Musa's eldest son.)
وُلِدَ لِي غُلاَمٌ فَأَتَيْتُ بِهِ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ فَسَمَّاهُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ فَحَنَّكَهُ بِتَمْرَةٍ وَدَعَا لَهُ بِالْبَرَكَةِ وَدَفَعَهُ إِلَىَّ وَكَانَ أَكْبَرَ وَلَدِ أَبِي مُوسَى
That she conceived ʿAbdullah bin Az-Zubair. She added, "I migrated to Medina while I was at full term of pregnancy and alighted at Quba where I gave birth to him. Then I brought him to the Prophet ﷺ and put him in his lap. The Prophet ﷺ asked for a date, chewed it, and put some of its juice in the child's mouth. So, the first thing that entered the child's stomach was the saliva of Messenger of Allah ﷺ. Then the Prophet rubbed the child's palate with a date and invoked for Allah's Blessings on him, and he was the first child born amongst the Emigrants in the Islamic Land (i.e. Medina).
فَخَرَجْتُ وَأَنَا مُتِمٌّ فَأَتَيْتُ الْمَدِينَةَ فَنَزَلْتُ بِقُبَاءٍ فَوَلَدْتُهُ بِقُبَاءٍ ثُمَّ أَتَيْتُ بِهِ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ فَوَضَعْتُهُ فِي حَجْرِهِ ثُمَّ دَعَا بِتَمْرَةٍ فَمَضَغَهَا ثُمَّ تَفَلَ فِي فِيهِ فَكَانَ أَوَّلَ شَىْءٍ دَخَلَ جَوْفَهُ رِيقُ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ ثُمَّ حَنَّكَهُ بِتَمْرَةٍ ثُمَّ دَعَا لَهُ وَبَرَّكَ عَلَيْهِ وَكَانَ أَوَّلَ مَوْلُودٍ وُلِدَ فِي الإِسْلاَمِ
When Al-Mundhir bin Abu Usaid was born, he was brought to the Prophet ﷺ who placed him on his thigh. While Abu Usaid was sitting there, the Prophet ﷺ was busy with something in his hands so Abu Usaid told someone to take his son from the thigh of the Prophet ﷺ . When the Prophet ﷺ finished his job (with which he was busy), he said, "Where is the boy?" Abu Usaid replied, "We have sent him home." The Prophet ﷺ said, "What is his name?" Abu Usaid said, "(His name is) so-and-so. " The Prophet ﷺ said, "No, his name is Al-Mundhir." So he called him Al-Mundhir from that day.
أُتِيَ بِالْمُنْذِرِ بْنِ أَبِي أُسَيْدٍ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ ﷺ حِينَ وُلِدَ فَوَضَعَهُ عَلَى فَخِذِهِ وَأَبُو أُسَيْدٍ جَالِسٌ فَلَهَا النَّبِيُّ ﷺ بِشَىْءٍ بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ فَأَمَرَ أَبُو أُسَيْدٍ بِابْنِهِ فَاحْتُمِلَ مِنْ فَخِذِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ فَاسْتَفَاقَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ فَقَالَ أَيْنَ الصَّبِيُّ فَقَالَ أَبُو أُسَيْدٍ قَلَبْنَاهُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَالَ مَا اسْمُهُ قَالَ فُلاَنٌ قَالَ وَلَكِنْ أَسْمِهِ الْمُنْذِرَ فَسَمَّاهُ يَوْمَئِذٍ الْمُنْذِرَ
The Prophet ﷺ was the best of all the people in character. I had a brother called Abu ʿUmar, who, I think, had been newly weaned. Whenever he (that child) was brought to the Prophet ﷺ the Prophet ﷺ used to say, "O Abu ʿUmar! What did Al-Nughair (nightingale) (do)?" It was a nightingale with which he used to play. Sometimes the time of the Prayer became due while he (the Prophet) was in our house. He would order that the carpet underneath him be swept and sprayed with water, and then he would stand up (for the prayer) and we would line up behind him, and he would lead us in prayer.
كَانَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ أَحْسَنَ النَّاسِ خُلُقًا وَكَانَ لِي أَخٌ يُقَالُ لَهُ أَبُو عُمَيْرٍ قَالَ أَحْسِبُهُ فَطِيمٌ وَكَانَ إِذَا جَاءَ قَالَ يَا أَبَا عُمَيْرٍ مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَيْرُ نُغَرٌ كَانَ يَلْعَبُ بِهِ فَرُبَّمَا حَضَرَ الصَّلاَةَ وَهُوَ فِي بَيْتِنَا فَيَأْمُرُ بِالْبِسَاطِ الَّذِي تَحْتَهُ فَيُكْنَسُ وَيُنْضَحُ ثُمَّ يَقُومُ وَنَقُومُ خَلْفَهُ فَيُصَلِّي بِنَا
38.7 Seeking Permission To Enter A House
٣٨۔٧ باب الاِسْتِئْذَانِ
While I was present in one of the gatherings of the Ansar, Abu Musa came as if he was scared, and said, "I asked permission to enter upon ʿUmar three times, but I was not given the permission, so I returned." (When ʿUmar came to know about it) he said to Abu Musa, "Why did you not enter?'. Abu Musa replied, "I asked permission three times, and I was not given it, so I returned, for Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, "If anyone of you asks the permission to enter thrice, and the permission is not given, then he should return.' " ʿUmar said, "By Allah! We will ask Abu Musa to bring witnesses for it." (Abu Musa went to a gathering of the Ansar and said). "Did anyone of you hear this from the Prophet ﷺ ?" Ubai bin Kaʿb said, "By Allah, none will go with you but the youngest of the people (as a witness)." (Abu Saʿid) was the youngest of them, so I went with Abu Musa and informed ʿUmar that the Prophet ﷺ had said so. (See Hadith No. 277, Vol. 3)
كُنْتُ فِي مَجْلِسٍ مِنْ مَجَالِسِ الأَنْصَارِ إِذْ جَاءَ أَبُو مُوسَى كَأَنَّهُ مَذْعُورٌ فَقَالَ اسْتَأْذَنْتُ عَلَى عُمَرَ ثَلاَثًا فَلَمْ يُؤْذَنْ لِي فَرَجَعْتُ فَقَالَ مَا مَنَعَكَ قُلْتُ اسْتَأْذَنْتُ ثَلاَثًا فَلَمْ يُؤْذَنْ لِي فَرَجَعْتُ وَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ إِذَا اسْتَأْذَنَ أَحَدُكُمْ ثَلاَثًا فَلَمْ يُؤْذَنْ لَهُ فَلْيَرْجِعْ فَقَالَ وَاللَّهِ لَتُقِيمَنَّ عَلَيْهِ بِبَيِّنَةٍ أَمِنْكُمْ أَحَدٌ سَمِعَهُ مِنَ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ فَقَالَ أُبَىُّ بْنُ كَعْبٍ وَاللَّهِ لاَ يَقُومُ مَعَكَ إِلاَّ أَصْغَرُ الْقَوْمِ فَكُنْتُ أَصْغَرَ الْقَوْمِ فَقُمْتُ مَعَهُ فَأَخْبَرْتُ عُمَرَ أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ قَالَ ذَلِكَ وَقَالَ ابْنُ الْمُبَارَكِ أَخْبَرَنِي ابْنُ عُيَيْنَةَ حَدَّثَنِي يَزِيدُ عَنْ بُسْرٍ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا سَعِيدٍ بِهَذَا
38.8 It Is Disliked For The Person Who Is Seeking Permission To Say "Me" When Asked "Who Is It?"
٣٨۔٨ باب كَرَاهَةِ قَوْلِ الْمُسْتَأْذِنِ أَنَا إِذَا قِيلَ مَنْ هَذَا
I came to the Prophet ﷺ in order to consult him regarding my father's debt. When I knocked on the door, he asked, "Who is that?" I replied, "I" He said, "I, I?" He repeated it as if he disliked it.
سَمِعْتُ جَابِرًا ؓ يَقُولُ أَتَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ فِي دَيْنٍ كَانَ عَلَى أَبِي فَدَقَقْتُ الْبَابَ فَقَالَ مَنْ ذَا فَقُلْتُ أَنَا فَقَالَ أَنَا أَنَا كَأَنَّهُ كَرِهَهَا
38.9 The Prohibition Of Looking Into A House
٣٨۔٩ باب تَحْرِيمِ النَّظَرِ فِي بَيْتِ غَيْرِهِ
A man peeped through a hole in the door of Messenger of Allah ﷺ's house, and at that time, Messenger of Allah ﷺ had a Midri (an iron comb or bar) with which he was rubbing his head. So when Messenger of Allah ﷺ saw him, he said (to him), "If I had been sure that you were looking at me (through the door), I would have poked your eye with this (sharp iron bar)." Messenger of Allah ﷺ added, "The asking for permission to enter has been enjoined so that one may not look unlawfully (at what there is in the house without the permission of its people)."
أَخْبَرَهُ أَنَّ رَجُلاً اطَّلَعَ فِي جُحْرٍ فِي باب رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ وَمَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ مِدْرًى يَحُكُّ بِهِ رَأْسَهُ فَلَمَّا رَآهُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ قَالَ لَوْ أَعْلَمُ أَنْ تَنْتَظِرَنِي لَطَعَنْتُ بِهِ فِي عَيْنَيْكَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ إِنَّمَا جُعِلَ الإِذْنُ مِنْ قِبَلِ الْبَصَرِ
A man peeped into a room of the Prophet. The Prophet ﷺ stood up, holding an arrow head. It is as if I am just looking at him, trying to stab the man.
أَنَّ رَجُلاً اطَّلَعَ مِنْ بَعْضِ حُجَرِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ فَقَامَ إِلَيْهِ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ بِمِشْقَصٍ أَوْ بِمَشَاقِصَ فَكَأَنِّي أَنْظُرُ إِلَيْهِ يَخْتِلُ الرَّجُلَ لِيَطْعُنَهُ
That he heard Messenger of Allah ﷺ saying, "We (Muslims) are the last (to come) but (will be) the foremost (on the Day of Resurrection)." And added, "If someone is peeping (looking secretly) into your house without your permission, and you throw a stone at him and destroy his eyes, there will be no blame on you."
سَمِعَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ يَقُولُ نَحْنُ الآخِرُونَ السَّابِقُونَ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَبِإِسْنَادِهِ لَوِ اطَّلَعَ فِي بَيْتِكَ أَحَدٌ وَلَمْ تَأْذَنْ لَهُ خَذَفْتَهُ بِحَصَاةٍ فَفَقَأْتَ عَيْنَهُ مَا كَانَ عَلَيْكَ مِنْ جُنَاحٍ