Kindness to women and breaking your voluntary fast for guests

I came to Abu Dharr, but I did not find him, so I said to his wife, “Where is Abu Dharr?” She said, “He is working; he will come to you now.” So I sat waiting for him. Then he came with two camels, having tethered one of them to the rump of the other; on the neck of each of them was a waterskin. He set them down, then came in.

I said, “O Abu Dharr, there is no man I would meet whose meeting would be dearer to me than yours, and none whose meeting would be more hateful to me than yours.” He said, “May your father be to Allah! What has brought this together?” He said, “In the pre-Islamic era I buried alive a baby girl. I fear, if I meet you, that you will say, ‘There is no repentance for you; there is no way out for you,’ and I was hoping that you would say, ‘You have repentance and a way out.’” He said, “Was it in the pre-Islamic era that you did it?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “Allah has pardoned what has passed.”

Then he said to his wife, “Bring us some food,” but she refused. Then he ordered her, and she refused, until their voices rose. He said, “Go on, for you women do not go beyond what the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said.” I said, “And what did the Messenger of Allah say about them?” He said, “Indeed woman was created from a rib; if you try to straighten her you will break her, and if you treat her gently, then in her there is crookedness and sufficiency.” 

So she turned away, then came with a tharid dish as if it were a sandgrouse. He said, “Eat, and I will not alarm you, for I am fasting.” Then he stood to pray, and he began to make his bowing well-formed; then he turned away and ate.

I said, “Truly, to Allah we belong! I was not afraid that you would lie to me.” He said, “May your father be to Allah! I have not lied since you met me.” I said, “Did you not tell me that you were fasting?” He said, “Yes. I fasted three days of this month, and its reward was written for me, and the food became lawful for me.”

أَتَيْتُ أَبَا ذَرٍّ، فَلَمْ أُوَافِقْهُ، فَقُلْتُ لِامْرَأَتِهِ: أَيْنَ أَبُو ذَرٍّ؟ قَالَتْ: يَمْتَهِنُ، سَيَأْتِيكَ الْآنَ. فَجَلَسْتُ لَهُ، فَجَاءَ وَمَعَهُ بَعِيرَانِ، قَدْ قَطَرَ أَحَدَهُمَا بِعَجُزِ الْآخَرِ، فِي عُنُقِ كُلِّ وَاحِدٍ مِنْهُمَا قِرْبَةٌ، فَوَضَعَهُمَا، ثُمَّ جَاءَ.

فَقُلْتُ: يَا أَبَا ذَرٍّ، مَا مِنْ رَجُلٍ كُنْتُ أَلْقَاهُ كَانَ أَحَبَّ إِلَيَّ لُقْيًا مِنْكَ، وَلَا أَبْغَضَ إِلَيَّ لُقْيًا مِنْكَ. قَالَ: لِلَّهِ أَبُوكَ، وَمَا جَمَعَ هَذَا؟ قَالَ: إِنِّي كُنْتُ وَأَدْتُ مَوْءُودَةً فِي الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ، أَرْهَبُ إِنْ لَقِيتُكَ أَنْ تَقُولَ: لَا تَوْبَةَ لَكَ، لَا مَخْرَجَ لَكَ، وَكُنْتُ أَرْجُو أَنْ تَقُولَ: لَكَ تَوْبَةٌ وَمَخْرَجٌ. قَالَ: أَفِي الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ أَصَبْتَ؟ قُلْتُ: نَعَمْ. قَالَ: عَفَا اللَّهُ عَمَّا سَلَفَ.

وَقَالَ لِامْرَأَتِهِ: آتِينَا بِطَعَامٍ، فَأَبَتْ، ثُمَّ أَمَرَهَا فَأَبَتْ، حَتَّى ارْتَفَعَتْ أَصْوَاتُهُمَا. قَالَ: إِيهِ، فَإِنَّكُنَّ لَا تَعْدُونَ مَا قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ. قُلْتُ: وَمَا قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ فِيهِنَّ؟ قَالَ: «إِنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ خُلِقَتْ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ، وَإِنَّكَ إِنْ تُرِدْ أَنْ تُقِيمَهَا تَكْسِرُهَا، وَإِنْ تُدَارِهَا فَإِنَّ فِيهَا أَوَدًا وَبُلْغَةً». 

فَوَلَّتْ، فَجَاءَتْ بِثَرِيدَةٍ كَأَنَّهَا قَطَاةٌ، فَقَالَ: كُلْ، وَلَا أَهُولَنَّكَ، فَإِنِّي صَائِمٌ. ثُمَّ قَامَ يُصَلِّي، فَجَعَلَ يُهَذِّبُ الرُّكُوعَ، ثُمَّ انْفَتَلَ فَأَكَلَ.

فَقُلْتُ: إِنَّا لِلَّهِ، مَا كُنْتُ أَخَافُ أَنْ تُكَذِّبَنِي. قَالَ: لِلَّهِ أَبُوكَ، مَا كَذَبْتُ مُنْذُ لَقِيتَنِي. قُلْتُ: أَلَمْ تُخْبِرْنِي أَنَّكَ صَائِمٌ؟ قَالَ: بَلَى، إِنِّي صُمْتُ مِنْ هَذَا الشَّهْرِ ثَلَاثَةَ أَيَّامٍ، فَكُتِبَ لِي أَجْرُهُ، وَحَلَّ لِيَ الطَّعَامُ.